Sleeper Class

Dear Reader

I have to terms with my class. I am not a 1stAC (air con) girl. My railway ticket does not usher me into a two-bedded compartment with proper bedding and semi-climate control. For i am of the general sleeper class. Not 2nd AC, not 3rd AC but general sleeper. That is to say...I will not go gently into this or any other night.

I have come to terms with this general state of unrest but not, I will say frankly, with my classification. In a country which prides itself on a thorough (there are over 1000 classes) and ordered class and caste system, i am somewhat baffled as to why they thought to call my class SLEEPER. Some better suggestions would be... "mostly awake class", "10 winks class" or my personal favourite "slumber party class' because that's what it is. one big noisy party under bad lighting with bad food.

Sleeper class, what a joke. Take head dear reader as i write this blog sleep deprived and bleary eyed, but feel i am justified in my protest. Hang on now. isn't a sleeper a bullet? now that kinda makes more sense. because i would gladly take a bullet rather than suffer the fate that is The Sleeper.

To give it an office perspective, for my hard working readers, the sleeper is kinda like an open plan office...there's always someone walking into your space without rhyme or reason (actually the reason here is to stare) and the partitions are a mere formality, giving you just enough privacy to pick your nose and not enough to avoid being caught out. of course, being India, this office is an all-night call center where people compete in tone and pitch for communication space. and hey, if you cant shout at the top[ of your voice you always know that your cellphone can play music really loudly, especially if its really bad music like "I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world its fantastic..." no it aint.

Hey now i probably just sound like a party pooper right? now there are good things about general sleeper. I think its quite ingenious fitting three bunks onto one wall. And I have high praise for the government issue vinyl bunks. because honestly, when that train clocks the higher end of its speedometer, the only think keeping me from being bounced about like some baby on the knee of an overzealous grandad, is the clever combination of vinyl and humidity. genius. I don't know why humid countries don't just do away with cloth seats and seat belts and just install meters of cheap ass vinyl. any entrepreneurs this?

okay enough with the class bashing. some of my best ideas have come from being glued to the the top bunk, staring at the ceiling wondering why they bothered to put in big ceiling fans they never planned to use in the first place. some kind of torture? were these trains once used to transport suspected criminals prisoners because i can tell you, i would break. you wouldn't even have to open the door to the vile bile latrine at the end of the corridor because i would be crying confession just from sheer heat and exhaustion and back cramps.

I guess if one were very zen one could see the sleeper as a perfect opportunity for meditation. , i prefer self medication. because, in my book, if you cant accept your class, its best to act your class and take drugs***


*** disclaimer: i only use over-the-counter drugs. luckily in India, that's quite a broad term.